I’m tired and when I get this way I have this selfish need to have some peace and quiet. I find it hard to write and to express myself in a reasonable way. Charles and I have had so much going on for so many weeks, it has been go go go, one thing after another. I wish we could both have a little break and together would really be nice.
I’ve also been on this mental whirlwind that has taken so much out of me. I told Millie that I felt a little overwhelmed and she said she thought that if I put that out there for the universe people would understand and be supportive, Millie also told me to take a deep breath. Funny, I told Terri, that ever since I mailed the heart to her I was holding my breath.
Don’t know what I am talking about? I am on a wild adventure or as not so famous, ME (LOL), predicted I would be on, “a magic carpet ride” that is really a blessing (which I have no idea how to deal with), has taken place for me. Today, Terri St. Cloud, of Bone Sigh Arts, included me on her web site as artist of the month. However, the carpet ride really began a few days ago. Things are strangely quiet right now. This is where I feel the half empty glass and I feel, like I have been let down, or that I’m a let down, a failure, I feel a panic coming over me.
At the end of last week, there was so much going on in my business life, as a result of my last blog and my connection with Terri St. Cloud, which is silly to say because really, my business life is my personal life. Even though there are times that I have an artistic block, I am also compelled to create almost all the time, so it is hard to find that separation. Anyway, all the commotion that was associated with my last blog and Terri’s blog and well, just our connection and other people weighing in on the situation, just had me in overload, but I felt my glass was half full.
I’m not much of a business person, actually I’m pretty lousy at it and I flat-out stink at those kind of details. Charles constantly has to remind me of the business side of things… I create from emotion and my heart. So, it feels really lousy to have to put a tag on my work that has that bottom line, of needing to earn money from what I do, but that is the harsh reality of it. It really sucks just when I get to do cartwheels of joy that I then fall flat on my butt, because that annoying little voice in the back ground is saying whoa wait a minute missy, all that feel good stuff isn’t going to pay your obligations. It just sucks to put that in writing too.
Photos feel good to me. The whole part of going out with my camera in a quiet personal moment, where I can capture a thought or a feeling and keep it in front of me forever. I have my photos on a screen saver that shuffles constantly. I can be in Europe one minute, the Caribbean the next, laughing with my friends, snuggling with my children and riding the breeze and smelling the sunshine.
After stopping for kisses from Clyde this morning, I came around the curve in the path to my studio to find that my first day-Lily was open.
Charles and I managed to scratch out a little fun time this weekend. We did friends on Saturday and family on Monday.
Briefly, Charles had the camera too, this should never happen!
I’m feeling a little better, I just needed a few quiet hours, a few pictures and to poke fun at myself.
Please make the time to discover my new friend Terri and include her in your blessings.
Until the next time,