sometimes when I close my eyes tight

You don’t know my mother.  She is a stranger to you.  She is still alive, but her spirit is gone.

She was extremely intelligent, deeply complex, ahead of her time in many ways.  She was compassionate and yet selfish.  She had a wicked sense of humor, hated social events, and yet was often the hit of the party.  She loved to garden and could name just about any plant with a blink of an eye.  She wasn’t a fancy or formal gardener.  Her gardens were welcoming and easy to enjoy and she loved to share her rewards with others.  I got my love for gardening from her, and dad too.

I spent a day with her last week, it was one of her better days.  She was content to sit outside and watch as I walked around taking photos. For brief periods of time, she was there with me, in the moment.  Then just as quickly the anxiety would overwhelm her and she was gone to a private hell, I don’t know.

My mother has Alzheimer’s.

Sometimes if I close my eyes tightly, she is mom again.

Happy Mother’s Day

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