I’ve finally ended my three-week open house at the studio. I’m officially ready to go into my hermit mode, where I don’t see or talk to anybody for a period of time. This is a period of quiet time where I need to re-charge. I need this time, I crave it, always have. I have to listen to what my heart and soul are telling me.
I need to listen to what my body is telling me.
My body is bone tired and hurts from head to toe. I’m weary and I want to sleep for long, restorative periods.
The other night I had some lady friends over for cocktails and appetizers by the pond. It was a blissful evening, full of silliness, blowing bubbles and giggling and dancing and a few whoops and hollars thrown in for good measure.
Thank you girlfriend, for taking all these photos:)
During the evening, someone said something about me staying so busy. I mentioned that since I re-injured my back at the first of this year, I have put on fifteen pounds. My every single joint aches from carrying this extra load. At night I toss and turn, I can’t get comfortable and then I torture myself with self hate for being so overweight. I cry myself to sleep and awake with the burden of this weight both mentally and physically.
I know, because I’ve been told that many people think that over-weight people are lazy. I’ll admit, I have periods where I feel lazy, but I don’t think I am a lazy person. That is one of those mis-perceptions, I really hate; same as because you are fat, you are stupid.
The perfect ending to the last day of open house – hula hoops were pulled out. What a blast, and yes I even gave it a shot even though I knew my back would not appreciate it. The girlfriend recorded a video of us and when I saw myself, I felt sick.
As tired as I am; I feel the need to stay busy and move. I hope to find a balance and catch some quiet time for my soul and active time for my body and to believe.
Until next time,