hermit mode carrying a load

I’ve finally ended my three-week open house at the studio.  I’m officially ready to go into my hermit mode, where I don’t see or talk to anybody for a period of time.  This is a period of quiet time where I need to re-charge.  I need this time, I crave it, always have.  I have to listen to what my heart and soul are telling me.

I need to listen to what my body is telling me.

My body is bone tired and hurts from head to toe. I’m weary and I want to sleep for long, restorative periods.

evening glow

The other night I had some lady friends over for cocktails and appetizers by the pond.  It was a blissful evening, full of silliness, blowing bubbles and giggling and dancing and a few whoops and hollars thrown in for good measure.

blowing bubbles

feeding the fish

a few cocktails

welcome back friend

Crazy K the instigator – don’t deny it!

Thank you girlfriend, for taking all these photos:)

During the evening, someone said something about me staying so busy.  I mentioned that since I re-injured my back at the first of this year, I have put on fifteen pounds.   My every single joint aches from carrying this extra load.  At night I toss and turn, I can’t get comfortable and then I torture myself with self hate for being so overweight.  I cry myself to sleep and awake with the burden of this weight both mentally and physically.

I know, because I’ve been told that many people think that over-weight people are lazy.  I’ll admit, I have periods where I feel lazy, but I don’t think I am a lazy person.  That is one of those mis-perceptions, I really hate;  same as because you are fat, you are stupid.

The perfect ending to the last day of open house – hula hoops were pulled out.  What a blast, and yes I even gave it a shot even though I knew my back would not appreciate it.  The girlfriend recorded a video of us and when I saw myself, I felt sick.

the girlfriend and the cat

Go Carly!

Mr. Wishes got in on the action too.

As tired as I am; I feel the need to stay busy and move.  I hope to find a balance and catch some quiet time for my soul and active time for my body and to believe.

Until next time,



14 thoughts on “hermit mode carrying a load

  1. Looks like you all had a great time. I understand hermit mode. Take the time now to concentrate on you and what your body needs. Today is supposed to be a good day to end old habits and start new ones (the eclipse and the Mayans). Maybe you picked the perfect day to change directions.

  2. You are so lucky to have a Hermit Mode.. I mentioned on a drive with Mom and Dad to Kyle’s house a few weeks ago that I would love a small cottage somewhere. I visualize a quaint but kept hidden retreat that is among the fir trees and foliage and surrounded by creatures as in snow white or sleeping Beauty’s tale. I envision a stepping stone path among flowers and a bubbling rocky brook complete with foot bridge. I think a drawing is forming here?lol If only it were mine to own. How much art could I create..Cleanse your body first , Detox with water and only fresh fruits and veggies. I am not sure what dietary needs you have but I do this once in a while and my body feels so much better. Once the inside feels better the outside will be ready for excercise too!
    I hope you feel refreshed and ready to see us in June, I am so looking forward to our visit. Cant wait to see your home and studio! Love you favorite cousin,
    While you rest envision us doing one of our shows in your family room in front of the fireplace in old tutu’s. lol

    • Leanne – I think you should write stories to go with your art – your words are just as beautiful. So looking forward to seeing you. Big hugs and lots of love xxxooo

  3. I really understand your words Kim…thank you for always being so brave. The weight issue is something I totally get. It can twist our insides like nothing else can. Be good to yourself and remember how gorgeous you are both inside and out. Your body will release the extra pounds when the time is right. Invite your angels in to help, they are anxiously waiting on the sidelines…however they must be invited in. You go girl…you’re on the verge of making more magic happen!

  4. Kim, love your pictures and I hope the three weekends were good for you. It was so hard for me to slow down when I retired but now I do what my body allows me to do and am happier. I hope your body heals soon. Hugs,

  5. I’m happy to have been a part of your 3rd and last weekend before your hibernation kicks in. When you’re ready to emerge…..well, you know….


  6. Crazy Karen here – guilty as charged! It was such a wonderful evening, just what I needed – I always feel like I have come home when I see you, Mr Wishes and the pond! Simplify, simplify – I think you have made many steps that direction, but now you need to focus of the inner you that makes it all happen. Believe me, we are all struggling together on this. xxxooo Karen

  7. Last night I was feeling a bit of frustration too. For whatever reason I put in the tape of Neil Diamond”s “Jonathon Livingston Seagull”. It has so much mystical or metaphorical meaning. I don’t claim to understand it all but it does tell me that we can’t understand everything and that “everything is subject to change and we are on course”.

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