my linus’ blanket

The sun is just up and I sit quietly watching it pass through the leaves on the trees creating a green and gold stained glass effect.

I have the window open and a cool breeze is carrying the sounds of roosters crowing and geese honking.  Occasionally a cow or a sheep will add their input too.  These are the sounds of my country life that I love dearly.

I realize that fall is upon us and I wonder where has this summer gone?

I close my eyes, taking in the smell of bacon cooking, and I can hear my husband in the kitchen sharpening the knives.  Slow methodical sound of metal on metal.  I lose my train of thought.

This week one of our cats died in the night.  It was not unexpected. It was a long week of me holding him, wrapped tightly in a blanket; trying to comfort both him and myself.  It was another one of those sucky events that seems to have been stacking up one after another, all year-long.

The only trip I’ve taken this summer has been to hell and back.

I close my eyes again, trying to escape and concentrate on a visual of waves gently washing to shore, white foam slowly and gently pulling back out to sea until the next wave brings it to shore again.

That smell of bacon though, lets me know exactly where I am.

There has been so much chaos around me this year.  I’ve tried to find meaning, make sense and control it.  I’ve tried to keep a facade of normal.

I have been struggling to save the world for everyone else, to make things better for them.  Meanwhile I lost myself.  I became physically ill, and emotionally drained.

Unable to find pleasure in my art or studio time, I’ve found other ways to lose myself.

My pack-rat ways have left me feeling overwhelmed and in need of simplifying. I’ve spent long hours, sorting, cleaning and giving and throwing away my excess.

I found my prized  child-hood stuffed bear,  Frosty Bear as I called him – he was my Linus’ blanket.

A bath, and a day drying in the sunshine, brought some life back in this almost 50-year-old bear, and curiosity in Mr. Bonez.

Mr. Bonez surveys the situation from below.

Every now and again, I long for those simple days when a stuffed animal by my side makes the world better and keeps my worries away.

Until next time,

Cheers!

Kim

13 thoughts on “my linus’ blanket

  1. Dear Kim
    I thought of you early this morning …worried that something was amiss since your voice had been quiet. Life gets harder and harder as we get older. Somehow this surprises me as I thought at long last we would be through the chaos of childhood. I am the most unhappy I have been – body and job letting me down – yet, like you, still very grateful for all that I do have and trying to squeeze out every last bit to keep me going. Just. know that you always have companions on this tough journey and I donot mean for it to sound mean, but it cheers me to know that I am not alone.
    Hugs
    Karen

    • Karen – I too have worried,since I haven’t heard from you for awhile. We must plan a visit soon. While I do not believe in pity parties, I do believe in the comfort of friendship and the thought of knowing we are not alone on our journey. Hugs to you xxooo

  2. To Hell and Back – again we find ourselves so very kindred in spirit. I too have felt that I’ve gone to hell and back this past year. Although, I’m not sure that I’m quite back just yet. However, we are back or are coming back and that is what we must be grateful for. I do believe that our trips to Hell are meant for a purpose that we have yet or may never truly understand. But, I do believe there is a profound purpose for them and that my friend we should take refuge in. Our lives are blessed beyond the scope that you or I could even begin to define but it is something that I feel deep within my soul. Rejoice in the many blessings and continue to move forward, slowly, methodically but dancing all the while and singing…..yes, singing both inward and outward for all to hear. Love is plentiful, lessons are many, friendships remain intact and are always there.

    Now, I shall close my eyes and imagine the waves gently washing to the shore, the gentle breezes blowing across my face. I sit, laughing, glass of wine in hand enjoying a magnificent sunset with friends. Imagine……

  3. Pingback: My Friend and Frosty | An Artsy Chick Dares To Dream

  4. Hello my dear friend. You continue to amaze us all with your poignant words and touching tales…….you are a warrior in every sense of the word. Take a peek at my blog when you get a chance…hope it makes you smile, it did me 🙂
    P.S. prayers for sweet kitty…..watch for rainbows coming soon.

    • Cindy – our souls have touched across the miles, formed a bond and forged a path for hope. As always, thank you for inspiring me to reach a little higher, love harder and blindly go forth. xxoo

  5. Pingback: artsy chick – you rock | 3 Wishes Studio and other stuff

  6. Pingback: artsy chick – you rock | 3 Wishes Studio and other stuff

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